snip snap
by TheBlueSheep
Summary: Disastrously unorganised snippets of Tsuna and his daily life.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** theres a two liter tub of ice cream in the freezer and i am Tempted

 **Author's notes:** Disastrously unorganised snippets of Tsuna and his daily life that will never make it into fics anyway. Will be marked as completed, but I might add something when I feel like it.

* * *

 **One**

Sometimes Tsuna feels like he's dealing with children. Heavily armed, bloodthirsty children, that is. And with Hibari and Mukuro in his office, it goes something like this –

"Okay. Normally I wouldn't interfere, but it is my house you were destroying. So why were you two fighting this time?"

"He pushed me down the fucking stairs!"

"Hibari-san, did you push Mukuro down the fucking stairs?"

"I don't answer to you," Hibari scoffs.

Tsuna doesn't even blink. "Humour me."

"Fine. I did not push him down the fucking stairs. But I did throw a vase at his head while he just happened to be on the fucking stairs."

"Why did you throw a vase at his head while he was on the fucking stairs?"

"He annoyed me."

"You're a nasty little bird," Mukuro growls and summons his trident, but Hibari stays unimpressed.

"And what's that fork of yours supposed to do?"

"It's a trident."

"Is there a difference?"

Mukuro attacks Hibari who nonchalantly blocks the attack and tries to knock the trident out of his hands.

Tsuna smoothly ducks as a tonfa flies towards his head and goes right through his chair and out the window, shattering the bulletproof glass.

As hell breaks loose in his office, he hides under his desk. Feeling around in the soft darkness, he pulls open the secret drawer he keeps his aspirin in. (Hayato doesn't need to know how much he actually takes them.) Thinks for a moment, closes the drawer, and pulls open another one where he keeps his whiskey. (Hayato _definitely_ doesn't need to know about that.)

Something else shatters in his office. He really hopes it's not the porcelain vase collection from the 16th century that Ninth so loved.

He understands Xanxus more and more with each passing day.

 **Two**

"Hey, Reborn? Not that I want to question your teaching methods – though I do, _constantly_ ," Tsuna takes a deep breath, "Shouldn't you have started from teaching me all this etiquette stuff? I mean, instead of shooting me with a Dying Will bullet and forcing me to fight and embarrass myself and protect my friends, couldn't you have started from the easier, er, non-violent stuff, like Italian and how to use— whatever this thing is called again."

"A tie bar, Dame-Tsuna. Forget it again and I'll shoot you with a real bullet."

"Yeah, a tie bar. What I mean is that this stuff actually kind of makes sense and you're just trying to teach me how not to make a fool out of myself in a polite company right now. I'm just wondering if it wouldn't have been easier to let me have a vague understanding what the job entails first and then teach me how to fight?"

"There's no point in grooming a gentleman who can't survive."

Tsuna tilts his head. "I don't understand?"

"That's why they call you Dame-Tsuna." Reborn sighs. "Would you have survived Mukuro by knowing how to use a tie bar? Or defeated Xanxus with a few Italian compliments?"

"I… guess not?"

"Would you survive a Mukuro-like incident while knowing what a tie bar is now?"

It takes a few seconds before Tsuna's face lights up with understanding. "Oh. That actually makes sense." He cringes. "Though, I will never repeat any of those Italian expressions you're forcing into my head to Xanxus."

"Why not? The result would be hilarious."

"I would die a slow and painful death."

"Yes. That would be the hilarious part."

"And this would be the part where I question your teaching methods."

 **Three**

"This is a disaster," Chrome says quietly as she appears next to Tsuna who is in the middle of pulling at his hair and screeching like a pterodactyl at the burning remnants of their last hideout.

"Chrooome," Tsuna sobs miserably. "You're the only sane person in the entire Vongola. May I hug you just once? For this incredible act of kindness and bravery?"

Chrome considers it. She's wearing a new jacket and Tsuna's face is covered with tears and snot, but he does look pitiful. She sighs heavily.

"Very well, Boss. Just this once."

Tsuna immediately wraps his arms around her shoulders and buries his face into her shoulder and makes a sound like… not like a pterodactyl anymore. Maybe like an offended kitten? She pats his back awkwardly, but all that does is make him sob harder. She holds back a cringe when she feels her shoulder growing wet.

"I hate my job," he cries. "I wanna move to the mountains and live as a hermit for the rest of my life. Is that too much to ask for?"

"I'm afraid it is, Boss."

Tsuna cries even harder.

 **Four**

"Congratulations, Dame-Tsuna," Reborn says casually as he strolls into Tsuna's office.

"What did I do?"

"Nothing this time, actually."

"Okay… what did _you_ do?"

"Again, nothing that you should know about. But as of today, the price for your head is officially high enough that no one can pay it, so you've been removed from the international hit list."

"I had no idea there was an international hit list. But basically, that means… no more assassins?"

"That means no more _hired_ assassins. No one who does their job for the money will be coming after you."

"That's… a good thing? Right?"

"Of course it is. It means that now that you're done with the wussies, you can start dealing with the nasty folks. You know, the ones who do hits for the thrill of it. The enthusiasts and the psychopaths. The ones who have chaos flowing in their veins and who wear mayhem proudly on their sleeves."

Tsuna shudders. "R-Reborn?"

Reborn _smiles_.

-x-

Gokudera walks in the hallway. He pulls against the wall when he hears it and smartly closes his eyes.

 _"aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa"_

He only opens his eyes once the wind has passed and looks after the blurring image of Tenth, Reborn-san hot on his heels.

"Huh. Doppler effect. Tenth is working hard. Gotta step up my game," he mutters and continues on.

* * *

 **The part where i talk about my life:** I just wanted to post something to show people that I AM ALIVE! On an entirely different continent than I was the last time I posted anything and having an insane schedule at work, but mostly alive. (Who wants to meet up in Toronto? I'll be in Canada for a year and then it's back to Europe for me.) So basically, everything in this thing is just random wips from my khr wip doc. I've got more of these if you like them so please review!


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:** i worked 60 hours last week. Death

Pls review!

* * *

 **Five**

"Good afternoon, Yuni. It's good to see you again," Tsuna greets, gets up from the ground and tries to brush the worst of the dirt off his otherwise impeccable three piece suit. He knows that the suit is a lost cause already and even getting it to dry-clean within an hour wouldn't be enough to save it, but Reborn would shoot him if he didn't at least try to look presentable.

Then he turns to the other person. "Byakuran. Care to explain why you thought it to be a good idea to kidnap me in such an… eccentric manner?" he asks mildly, nodding towards the enormous metallic marshmallow shaped robot, that had the audacity to grab Tsuna off the streets just as he was heading home after a long day.

"Normal is boring, Tsunayoshi-kun. You don't expect me to kidnap you in a normal manner, do you?" he says with a wave of his hand, like it's the most logical thing in the universe.

Tsuna gives him a bland look. "I apologise. Allow me to rephrase that question. Why am I here?"

Byakuran practically beams. "Because I was bored! So I kidnapped you! Hm? Why are you putting on your gloves, Tsunayoshi-kun? Do you think you- oh, hello, Natsu- you think you can-"

He has to dodge a flaming fist aimed straight for his face before he can finish that sentence. Tsuna stands in front of him, eyes glowing amber, flames on his fists and forehead, Natsu perched on his shoulder. There's the distinctive putrid stench of burning hair in the air and Byakuran runs a hand through his singed silver hair.

"I thought you couldn't enter Hyper Mode without those pills."

"Normally I can't," Tsuna explains, "but when I get the strong resolve to do something, like punch someone in the face, then it's actually fairly easy."

Byakuran's smile only grows wider. "Dying will or not, do you really think you can win against me?"

Tsuna raises an eyebrow. "You think I can't?"

Byakuran blinks twice. "Oh," he says.

"I'll go make tea," Yuni offers, looking between the two of them with a faint smile. "Green tea, right, Sawada-san?"

"Thank you, Yuni," Tsuna calls after her as she disappears into the house.

Byakuran's smile grows strained.

"Shit," he says.

-x-

Ten minutes later Tsuna is sitting next to Yuni on the porch, blowing steam off his cup of tea.

"Don't you think you went a little too far?" Yuni asks.

Tsuna sips at his tea, sparing just a glance at the smoking crater in the middle of the garden. Byakuran hasn't moved yet.

"I have a headache."

 **Six**

Gokudera waits behind a large metal door. He waits patiently, even though the door should've opened a few minutes ago already. But Tenth went through the trouble of arranging him Special Training, so Gokudera isn't going to complain even if he has to wait the entire night. Tenth is always so busy, and Gokudera feels honoured that Tenth took the time to arrange training _specifically_ for him…

"Hey, Gokudera! You here for Tsuna's special training, too?"

Oooor not. Yamamoto's annoying face appears from around the corner.

"Tch, why do I have to train together with an idiot? And here I thought Tenth arranged it just for me."

"Ah, well, it's fine, isn't it? The more the merrier!"

The door finally opens behind them soundlessly, revealing a dark room. Gokudera keeps the insult behind his teeth. He just has to make sure he'll do better than the idiot and impress Tenth. Not that hard.

As soon as both of them are inside, the door slams shut with a loud bang, making both of them jump. Then the lights flicker on and Gokudera… wants to run away.

On the other side of the large training room in front of a normal-looking wooden door is Reborn, sitting cross-legged on the ground, a disassembled gun laid out in front of him on a towel. He's carefully cleaning a part of it. Laying down next to him with his eyes closed is Hibari, but he yawns wide so he's probably awake.

"There are two ways to win," Reborn informs them with chilling calm. "Either knock us both out, or you just walk out the door. Oh, and don't try the one behind you. It's flameproof, swordproof, fireproof, and explosionproof. Tsuna went at it with an X-burner and it didn't even leave a scratch."

Gokudera spins around to check the door. It does look a bit scorched, but otherwise undamaged.

"Haha, is this because we broke half the house last week?" the idiot whispers next to him nervously. Gokudera doesn't deem him worthy of an answer.

Hibari sits up and rubs his eyes sleepily. "I can destroy them both by myself, baby. Don't interfere."

Reborn snorts. "Of course you can, idiot. But it's for _their_ training, not yours. Tsuna said to let them know how it feels like to be attacked by a Lightning reinforced concrete wall."

"Whatever. Not like I expect much of this silly little game anyway." Hibari yawns again. "I'll play together with you, then. Though, it can hardly be called a warm-up for that spar with you that the little animal allowed."

"Indeed," Reborn agrees.

Yamamoto laughs loudly. "Well, we're doomed. I can totally imagine Tsuna cackling in his office right now."

"Idiot. Tenth doesn't cackle."

It takes Reborn less than a second to reassemble his gun. Hibari stands up and lazily whips out his tonfas.

"You sure?" Yamamoto asks quietly.

"He might be cackling a little this time." Gokudera agrees weakly. They're both so dead.


	3. Chapter 3

**Seven**

Tsuna jumps up and down, one hand on Takeshi's shoulder, the other on Hayato's for balance, trying to peek over the crowd of people and actually see what's happening on the stage.

Takeshi laughs at him. "Can't see, Tsuna?"

"Yeah, well, as a short man I am not very tall," Tsuna grumbles. "Can't see a thing over all these European giants."

Hayato steadies him worriedly after his fourth jump goes a bit awry and he almost trips.

"I'll go get us seats in the front row, Tenth."

"That's not necessary, Haya-chan," Takeshi says before the forever loyal right hand can run off. He crouches down and Tsuna doesn't even have the time to fully comprehend what is happening, and then he's suddenly lifted high above the crowd on Takeshi's shoulders.

Tsuna squeaks indignantly, holding onto Takeshi's head as that's his only support so high up.

"Takeshi!" he hisses. "Put me down _right now_. You're inconveniencing the people behind us!"

Takeshi glances behind him and then shrugs. Tsuna has to sink his fingers further into his hair to not fall off. "There's just the wall behind us, Tsuna. I'm pretty sure it doesn't mind."

A group of girls not too far from them are giggling into their hands, trying hard not to openly stare at what's going on.

"Still! People are watching! Hayato, do something!"

Hayato only looks mildly annoyed with the situation. "Huh. Tenth's above all other people as he should be. Good. Drop him and you're dead, though."

"Hey, have some faith in me, Haya-chan. I'd never drop Tsuna."

With a defeated sigh, Tsuna gently tugs on Takeshi's hair. It's useless. This battle can't be won. His Guardians are way too stubborn to listen.

But at least he can see the stage now.

 **Eight**

The window shatters into millions of tiny shimmering pieces and a dark figure flies across the room, crashing into the opposite wall so hard, that the wall cracks and small debris falls from the ceiling.

In union, everyone in the room has their weapons out and aimed at the figure the moment the window explodes. They freeze once the situation registers.

Vongola Decimo is slumped against the wall with his feet up and head on the ground, neck craning at an angle that makes some of the older people in the room wince in sympathy.

Decimo himself looks a bit bewildered as he slowly spits out a shard of glass, not moving to get up. He slowly looks over the people, then the guns aimed straight at him.

"Um. Hi, everyone," he drawls eventually with a small crooked smile and an awkward upside-down wave. "I apologise for being late and for my, uh, unconventional entry. I'm afraid I accidentally irritated my Cloud Guardian a little bit."

At that moment the door slams open, making all the guns turn towards that instead.

Hibari Kyouya steps in with all his furious glory, his black coat billowing behind him dramatically. He ignores all the weapons, spares a glance at Decimo and sniffs disdainfully.

"Herbivore."

Decimo's grin turns into a grimace. "Yeaaah, sorry, Kyouya. You didn't need to throw me that hard, you know. I got your point just fine already."

"You were late. I hate tardiness."

"Indeed you do," Decimo admits. He lets his feet fall to the side, getting up slowly. He shakes out loose glass from his fluffy hair with one hand, the other rubbing gingerly the back of his neck.

"Ouch. Yep, this'll definitely bruise," he mutters under his breath.

Then he straightens up and flashes a brilliant smile at everyone in the room as glass falls to the floor around him. Hibari crosses his arms behind him.

"Now then, if you all would be so kind and put away the weapons you were _not supposed to bring_ , then we can get this meeting started."

The guns disappear even faster than they appeared.

* * *

Tsuna says 'don't bring weapons' but he brings Hibari Kyouya

 **A/N:** Don't mind me as I desperately scramble to find any kind of motivation to work on my multichaps

Reviews are very much appreciated!


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